Matthew and the Big Questions

Matthew has been asking questions about death a lot recently, and in particular has been worried about me dying. (I have assured him that I hope to be around for quite some time.)  I think this is maybe just a developmental stage, but I'm not sure -- death has been very much on our minds recently because a close friend of mine, Darcy, was in hospice care for the last month and died last week. We have intentionally not discussed this in front of the kids, but I wonder if Mattie heard something that worried him.

Last night Matthew said, "We have a lot of days before we die, and it's like unlocking new levels in a game."  I said, "Yes, we learn new things and have new experiences every day."  Then he said, "When we die, it's like the levels end, but just in our mind.  The days still go on."  (Wow.)

Then later he said, "I wonder what will happen when all the people die. I know dinosaurs won't come next because they happened before people.  So it's dinosaurs, then people, then something else.  I hope it's not monsters!"

(James, on the other hand, doesn't seem to really get the idea of death yet, or even of people being sad about others dying.  He will discuss it quite cheerfully, like it's a math problem -- given their age, how many years might people have left?  He was doing this at dinner one night when Grandma and Grandpa were here, going around the table, and said to me something like, "When you die, we'll be grown-ups, with kids of our own. So, that's all right!"  Meanwhile, during this conversation, poor Matthew's face was getting paler and paler, and then he burst into tears and jumped into my lap.  "Mommy, how long can people live?"  "Well, some people live to 109."  "I want you to live to 109!")